For the Mamas
Notes from surviving exams after a new child-
I have *finally* completed my final ARE!!! PPD. Which also happened to be the exam that I took before my life got chaotic for a bit. I had been well on my way to finishing exams, completed 4 and had planned to take my final two after I had found I was pregnant. Unfortunately for me, I had one of those nightmare pregnancies and was bedridden for about 6 months. It completely derailed the momentum I had going into my final lap of exams. Between the pregnancy, having to step away from work, postpartum, and finding my way with my new role as mom, I found myself back at the bottom of a new impossible mountain. I had been lucky enough to take some time off work to finish my exams, but as any stay at home mother can tell you- it’s no walk in the park. This time I had to do it with a little one in tow. My old study habits and routines were no longer options. My study group went on to finish as planned. I had never felt so alone or invisible in our field. It led to me figuring out how to cobble together a decent enough strategy for my final exams. I share these not to judge anyone else’s journey, but as an option to consider or pick and choose from. I remember reading the forums and searching if anyone had any suggestions and coming up short.
First- ask and accept for help. As a control freak/type a/enneagram 1, I get how hard this is. But you can’t do this alone anymore, because you’re not alone! I found myself needing to be flexible for other peoples schedules. Friends and family were able to pitch in a day here or there each week and between enough people I was able to usually study twice a week during the week, leaving my weekends open for family time. On occasion, vice versa when our resources had others had plans or were sick.
Second- get out of the house! I was sharing with a friend how i couldn’t make progress on my prep because of all the distractions pulling me into house mode instead of study mode. She suggested I go back to our college habits. I found a coffee shop near enough that I could be available for an emergency but far away enough that I got to switch my hat from mom to me.
Third- be honest about how much time you need to effectively study. I found that my brain could really only handle about 4 hours of active studying, 2-3 times a week. Pre mom life that answer was laughably longer. Make the time you have count. Make mini lesson plans in advance of your study day/time so you can hit the ground running. Also, if your life is anything like mine, there is only active recovery. So don’t overdo it because you may still need some gas in the tank when you get home.
Most importantly, believe in yourself. Vent, let it out, feel the doubt as it comes, but then remind yourself you’ve already accomplished so much. Even preparing for these exams is something to be acknowledged and celebrated. There are so many people in the field who don’t even make it this far, and without the added stress of a new child. The journey may look a little different and a little longer than it may have when you first started, but it doesn’t mean it can’t be done. Good luck to any and all of you, know that I am rooting for you!
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Hi Harpreet,
Congratulations! The impossibility of taking study time out during new additional responsibilities is the biggest hurdle. As a new mom it is even more emotional, even bigger achievement to be done with these.
I truly understand the struggle as I finished my last exams, PPD and PDD during my maternity leave, in one try. Although I was mentally and physically exhausted all the time, my biggest motivation was not wanting to miss out the time with my baby again.
For new or experienced parents, shoutout to all of you. Congrats if done, all the best if you are trying.
Anjum.
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Thank you for posting this. Totally felt alone in this journey while also having a child. I didn’t know there were exemptions for breast pumping and 6 month rolling clock extensions. After my birth of my child, I tried to take PPD and PDD. I had to hand express milk into the sink during my break because I was in so much pain.
Did you request a 6 month rolling clock extension? I was thinking of doing this and didn’t know if a copy of my son’s birth certificate is adequate or do I need to request an official copy from my city.
Any advice would be welcomed. Congratulations on your completed exams. -
Lindsey,
My heart feels for you! I am so sorry you had that experience with also breastfeeding during an exam, I didn’t resume mine until after I had stopped. No, you are definitely not alone. It’s also definitely a mind game bridging different chapters of life in the span of one career journey. I had no idea there was a rolling clock extension after giving birth, I wish I did!! I didn’t come across any of that when I was preparing. Had I known, I absolutely would have used it. It is there for a reason, I wonder if they have any recent mothers input in the decision making of these parameters.
Birth certificates- I usually find the phone number for ncarb helpful in answering questions about the exams. It usually involves a long wait period, and they are on the east coast so take those things into consideration if and when you do. At least in my city getting the certificate was very easy. I would recommend purchasing a few of them to have on hand as you’ll run into needing them for other things. If you need any advice on other topics feel free to post again! I’m sure there are other parents hoping to see some things too.
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Matetich I just applied for the 6-month rolling clock extension. I completed the Rolling Clock Extension Request form along with a picture of my sons birth certificate. It took them 2 days to approve it.
FYI if you are still nursing you can apply for accommodations for nursing (which is what I'm currently doing). You have to apply for this prior to registering for your next test.
Congrats! I hope this helps.
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I just read your article on the NCARB website but was not able to post a comment. Your article is very refreshing to read! I’m a mom to a ”threenager” with a full time job. I started taking my exams when my kid was only 2 and have passed 3 and failed 1 so far. Even though I have the full support of my husband and family, sometimes it feels a little bit isolating because I’m no longer in my 20s with lots of time on my hands (time becomes precious after you have kids), so my study prep plan has been a solo “adventure” that, through trial and error, I’ve been able to fit into my weekly routine. Thank you for sharing your experience and for pointing out that additional support for candidates with families should be more notable across NCARB resources!
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Hi Harpreet, I know its been a while since you finish your exams, but would it be possible for you to tell us a little bit about the materials you used for PPD and PDD. Just like you, Im a new mom with 2 exams left. I am always confused about how to manage to go through all the materials that I have. I tried PPD when I was 8 months pregnant and I fails. I was so close based on my score. I just feel like I dont have a good direction and what materials can benefit me the most.
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